I hate this with a passion...

One of the side effects of my meds is the fact that I'm not so scattered. That's a good thing, but my brain is now in high gear. That means it never shuts up. Never. I'm constantly in a running conversation with my brain, and that includes having very busy dreams, in which I am terribly frustrated by the amount of things I need to get done and never seem to.

Worse, there are nights when I can't get my mind to be quiet long enough to sleep. I'll lay there with my eyes closed, knowing that I'm trying to sleep, but not being able to. I'll spend hours in these weird states, waking up just as tired as I was when I went to sleep.

Last night, though...

Last night I just couldn't trick my mind into letting me sleep. Sometimes, if I lay very still, and pretend I'm asleep, I'll manage to actually get to sleep. If I tell myself very firmly that I need to sleep, sometimes that works.

Last night?? Nada. Zip. Nothing. Ain't happenin' here.

Ryan called at about 0315 to apologize for his sister calling my cell phone instead of 911 (to report a fight on the side of the highway), and we ended up chatting until he fell asleep on the phone about an hour later. It's a good thing, because he seems to be unable to get much sleep either.

I finally managed to drift off at around 0445.

So, my alarm goes off at 0745. I started to cry.

I suck and I hate this. I am so going to start taking some benadryl to sleep. Or melatonin, or a brick to the head.