Just A Camp Follower...

My husband, and my heart, is currently in the desert. I just got back.

24 August 2006

Note to self:

Look you,

So you want to scream and scream and scream and not stop until you finally figure out what the hell is going on in your head. Lemme know how that works out for you, okay? Yeah yeah yeah. You had a rough tour, but at least you're still alive, chickie. How many aren't? Quit with the baloney, okay?

You're still lonely. And this is different from the rest of your life how, exactly? You're achingly lonely tonight, with no real desire to pick up the phone and call anyone. Well, the one person you did call was busy, so you let him go. Good! He deserves to have some fun and you don't need to hear from him every day to know that he cares about you, okay?

Gah. You're so emo that you make yourself sick.

Hello? You're a grownup. Get over it.

Do you hear me?

Get.
Over.
It.

Get into school, get into what you need to do. You'll live without friends in SA for a while, at least until John comes home. You don't have time to actually hang out with anyone on a school night and you've got two games going on. Be happy with that, dammit. No, so you don't actually have anyone who invites you over to watch a movie or to hang out after game. Deal with it, okay?

You've got friends in Austin, if you need them, and you know it. Maybe you should try getting your neurotic ass to bed at a decent hour Saturday night so you'd feel like going to church in Austin? Maybe you should actually get to Vespers on a Saturday so you can do confession and then take Communion. You know this shit, Jen! Why are you ignoring it? You're not an ostrich, and pretending to be one just makes your ass stick up, so knock it off.

Now, get off the freakin' computer and get to bed. You've got a killer schedule this semester and you're not going to make decent grades if you're sick.

Lots of frustrated (tough) love,
Me

3 Comments:

At 3:46 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

You have ONE Friend you can always "call," and He will NEVER be too busy to listen! Even if you don't "feel like it," God is always waiting for you to call on Him. (Of course, you have dozens of friends and family you could try, too.)

 
At 10:04 PM, Blogger Sophia said...

I know how it feels to drive yourself crazy. You know what you want to do, but it's so hard to do it. I hope you'll be patient with yourself. You've got a lot going on.

Hey, if you ever go to vespers here on Saturday night, you're welcome to come spend the night at our house afterwards and go to church the next morning. I'm sure others have made the same offer, but just in case. Stuart and I are going to Gruene this coming weekend, but after that pretty much any time would work.

 
At 9:52 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

You should write for The Onion: http://www.theonion.com/content/node/50643

 

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