Well...what to say?

God, what a wonderful two weeks. How fast they flew by, but oh! How wonderful they were!

I don't even know what to say, except that I miss having him here already. It might have something to do with having to make my own coffee this morning, but it's more than that.

It's not waking up with a warm body curled up behind me, or rather, not waking up when that warm body gets out of bed to stagger bounce to the coffee-maker and then return holding a coffee cup triumphant.

It's not snuffling into that mug while sitting at the breakfast bar and watching him fix pancakes or eggs (which he hates) or whatever while I blink blearily at him and he natters on like I'm actually awake.

It's not having the need for another pillow on the bed, and not having to bump him back with my butt as he creeps across the centerline of the bed to snuggle. It's also not clinging to the side of the mattress like a particularly robust mountain goat because he's a bedhog, but I'll take that any day over not having him here.

It's not giggling maniacally at him at 0114 while wrestling on the living room floor, and not hearing him giggle back while wheezing about how we have to talk about the fact that I'm an insane night person.

It's not rolling my eyes at the towels tossed casually over the top of the bathroom doors to dry, or the hand-towel stuffed on a bar. It's not being able to wander into the kitchen and ask him if he wants to take a shower with me, even if there's no nookie involved.

It's not being able to rub my face against his right after he's shaved and smelling his shaving cream. It's not laughing when he tells me (again) that he really likes the smell of my hairspray, and not laughing when he gives me that "WTF?" look when I bury my nose at the base of his throat and tell him how much I love the way he smells after a long day.

It's a lot of "nots" right now, but looking back on the past two weeks, there have been so many "haves" that I can hardly believe he's mine, and that he's actually still in love with me. The past two weeks...how to describe them, except as a gift from God?

We did get to spend time with the 'rents, and that was wonderful. I think that we managed to squick his brother with the gooeyness that is us, but that was fun, too. Jason was very patient when we were role-playing and didn't throw a single miniature at us, too. :-D Very cool.

One downside, and it was a pretty big one, was that Ryan, John's cousin, ended up in the hospital. He and John's family went to Austin with us for liturgy, but Ryan ended up not feeling well, and vomiting, so...we ended up at the ER with him. I'm a bit more of a worry-wart than I like to let on, but God, I was so scared.

He's an insulin-dependent diabetic, and he ended up in DK. It appears that he had a lovely viral stomach bug (which he kindly shared with both John and me) and when he got to throwing up, he couldn't stop it, and that just sent his blood-sugar out of control. Evidently, there was some concern about him not taking care of himself while he was here, but the blood-work showed some viral ickiness, and then John and I both got sick and...so...he got out of the hospital yesterday evening and I put him on a plane this afternoon. I would cheerfully have kept him, but he's got a life in Virginia and needed to get back to it. Foo, I say.

Well, that's about it for me. I need to see if I can find my flippin' corset so that I dont' have to make another for the Iron Dress competition, and get to work on that. Gah.

BTW, in case anyone is wondering...

I'm handling this much, much much much much better than I did last time. I've got support in place and a routine to get back to, so I'm not sunk in nearly as deep a depression as I was worried I would be. I have an appointment with the shrink on Thursday, and the GP on the 27th, so I'm also trying to get better about taking care of myself. I've promised John that I would eat better than I had been and I will.

Anyway, I should go curl up and get the vestiges of this headache to go away. John, I love you and miss you greatly.