Remind me...(PROFANITY AND WHINING)

To never pick up books on OIF, okay? I spent some time at the bookstore today, and ended up thumbing through a few books on the war, and...

That numbing uselessness that I thought had gone away came back. I mean, I looked at pictures from Baghdad, including that fucking blue mosque, and streets that looked so familiar. I remembered sitting on rooftops smoking and joking with the guys I was out on patrol with, and waving at the kids that ran alongside the humvees.

I just feel so useless here. Yeah, so I might be helping a girl on my art class get a job at SG, but so? She'd have found another job without me.

It's Friday night, and since I have drill in the morning, I'm sitting here studying economics, while praying to God I don't fail my test. This semester has been such a struggle for me and I don't know what to do about it. I'm not sure how I'm doing in my beginning drawing class. I mean, there's a reason I'm a fucking PHOTOGRAPHY major, for the love of Bob. It's because...wait for it...I can't FUCKING DRAW! Do we see what the problem is here? I'm taking a drawing class, where I expected to learn something about drawing, and...I'm just confused. What about teaching stuff like perspective? What about teaching stuff like...oh...I dunno, the basics? Gah. I'm sure that she's teaching us that stuff in her own way, but it's still very frustrating.

Crap. I need to bring my homework with me to drill, too, since I won't have much time to study during the day. I've got an appointment with the wedding photographer to make sure that everything's going the way we want it to, and I should get a delivery date on the album tomorrow.

I need to pick up some more PT shorts and t-shirts at the Camp Mabry PX tomorrow, so I hope they have them. If not, I'll have to stop by Ft. Sam's clothing sales on Monday. Next weekend, I'll be in Bismark, N.D. to attend a public affairs conference. Whee.

I still don't understand economics. I really don't, but I'm off to read one more chapter (again) before I go to bed. I'm going to be taking a practice test Sunday, just to see how screwed I am. Wish me luck.